


Caught in the wind (swallowed by the lake)

by The_odd_one



Series: regulus black stuff (The_Odd_One) [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Tension, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Non-Graphic Violence, Other, Suicide Attempt, The Astronomy Tower, Underage Smoking, Young Regulus Black, Young Sirius Black, apathetic regulus black, awkward sirius black, sad regulus black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24239203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_odd_one/pseuds/The_odd_one
Summary: dull eyes trace the ashes as the fall, watching as the wind carries it away.'if he were to fall, would the wind catch him?' he wonders.
Series: regulus black stuff (The_Odd_One) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731697
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Caught in the wind (swallowed by the lake)

* * *

It was late when he stumbled upon the figure leaning against the rails of the astronomy tower. Slate eyes widened in surprise, not having expected there to be anyone up here.

He could have used the map, but he'd not even thought to.

Dull eyes flickered to him before he could retreat. Sirius felt himself freeze as he caught sight of who , exactly, it wast standing before him. Short black hair hung over into blue eyes. Pale lips encased around a cigarette, drawn into a faint frown.

"Potter?"

God his voice was so much deeper than he remembered. Lacking any of the fire that had once been there, that had shown itself in their last fight nearly three years ago.

"N-no, it's sirius." he felt stupid for stuttering, but the other looked so...he didn't even know, uninterested?

"I know, but it'd be rude not to call you by your family name." the other said, dull eyes turning back to stare listlessly out at the vast grounds.

"Regulus..." he trailed off, unsure. He should be elated that his broth- that the slytherin was calling him by james' family name. And, if it was any other time, he thinks, he would have been. But, now it feels...wrong having someone from his blood family giving in. The wrongness is even worse because it's regulus.

Sirius remembers vividly that regulus never gave into anything, never. So for him to call sirius a potter without even hesitating?

Well, what did that mean?

"Hmm?" the sole heir of the black family hummed, not truly giving the elder attention, not giving anything but his swirling thoughts any attention. The sixteen year old watched as the ash fell from his cigarette, tracing their descent down the tower until the wind pulled the ashes away. He wonders if the wind, too, would carry him away or if he would plummet down to the ground and suffer a swift death? Or maybe it wouldn't be quick, perhaps it would be absolute agony.

He was used to agony these darkening days. There rarely was a hint of light in his life, nothing soft or gentle. Just pain and the utterly abyss like void where he should feel something, something more than dulled disinterest.

Sirius wanted to ask 'what happened to us?' or 'where did it all go so wrong?'. But, he already knew the answer to those questions. It all went wrong when his courage out weighed his ambitions, when his act first think later mentality overcame his cunning. And, their shared blood is what happened to their relationship, the black family's ideologies not agreeing with what sirius had begun to believe. 

"What are you doing up here?" is what he asked instead, the silence getting to him. His fingers twisted into the fabric of his robes, anxious.

It was cold, up high as they were, winter wind dancing around the tower and across their flesh. The wind rippling the younger teens shirt is what made sirius realize that regulus wasn't wearing anything that could possibly keep him warm. No winter robes of even a long sleeve. His cheeks red from the biting winter air, white clouds of his breath stolen away.

"...needed some air." regulus' reply brought him back to the present.

"And, you didn't think to grab something to keep you warm?" sirius asked incredulously. Regulus flicked his eyes over to the elder boy, unimpressed.

" 'S not that cold, and i have heating charms going." he finally said before he stared at sirius a little longer, brows furrowing slightly.

He turned back away.

"Why do you even care?" he was noticeably confused. Why wouldn't he be, sirius hasn't said a word to him in three years. Certainly not any that were kind when they had spoken. The elder wizard had made it clear in their last interaction that he didn't care or want anything to do with regulus.

So why the hell did potter care? Was it even care? No it wasn't care, potter was likely just incredulous. Regulus could understand that, he would be too if he saw someone doing what he was.

"I don't care." so he was right, potter was just curious. "But, it's fucking cold. Regulus those charms surely aren't doing much to keep you warm, though. You look like you might turn into an icicle any minute now with how pale you are."

This time it did sound like potter was actually a little worried, even if he tried to hide it behind. 

"I'm fine."

I am always fine.

"You should go, your lions den is pretty far. You don't want to get caught by filch this late either, he gets pretty murderous at this time of night." 

You're bringing up memories i want to forget,

"Ah, you're right." sirius agreed after checking the time. He turned back towards the door, pausing to throw and awkward, "uh bye regulus..." then potter was gone.

Silence remained, the winter air ruffling black hair as it danced through the sky and around Hogwarts.

Regulus sighed softly, grinding the end of his cigarette against the stone.

His eyes caught once more onto the falling ashes.

'Would the wind catch me?'

The thought popped up once more into his head, and this time with nothing to distract from it, he leaned closer to the edge of the tower.

'Would the wind catch me?'

He pushed himself slowly onto the ledge, eyes glazed.

'Or would i fall with nothing to slow my descent?'

The wind froze for a moment, watching as a dark silhouette stood, teetering thoughtfully on the edge.

'Maybe, just maybe, it would...'

The figure fell forwards, decision made. The wind shot forward into motion, pushing against him. Desperately the wind curled and shoved the boy backwards,away from the distant grounds far below.

Regulus blinked back into the present, wind furiously whipping around him, as he fell onto the stone floor. His brows furrowed in confusion.

How did he get from putting a cigarette out to falling on his bum?

The heir to the ancient and noble house black shook himself and moved to his feet. It was late and he had an early class tomorrow.

As he left the astronomy tower he missed how the wind calmed.

-

Later, as he sunk below the surface of a lake far off from civilization, inferi latched onto his body, he would remember that night two years ago.

And, his last thought would be,

'The wind caught me, like it had those ashes.'

.

.

.

-

END

**Author's Note:**

> clearly i like regulus black angst of any degree...  
> uh, i hope this was a good read and all that.


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